He’s Just Not That Into You

I know you’re gonna hate me for using this phrase, don’t worry, I hate myself for using it too but it is a truth universally acknowledged that at times, it can be a struggle reading a man’s interest in you. No matter what age you are or what level of dating experience  you feel you have, there are definitely blurred lines when it comes to realising whether or not a guy is ‘into you’. It can be a seemingly rare occurrence for a man to wear his heart on his sleeve and tell you exactly how he feels, so in most instances, we are left battling with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions in an attempt to decipher whether or not he feels the same.

In a perfect world, a person you believe to have the potential to be a quintessential partner should spell out their intentions, and in fact feelings,  in plain English before you find yourself forming an emotional attachment to a person who may not reciprocate. You know why I think this? Because I’ve been there, and it sucks. I failed to recognise the tell-tale signs of a man being ‘just not that into me’ and now when I look back, it all makes sense. However naturally at that time, I reneged on the promise I made to myself to not get in too deep, and I was completely disheartened to discover that in the eyes of the man that I lusted over, I was a friend – an acquaintance – nothing more and nothing less.

So, with this in mind, I definitely don’t want others to find themselves in the same boat as I was: a boat sailing through an emotional sea, that was sinking into shark-infested waters. After a short period of reflection, I came to the conclusion that it’s actually pretty easy to determine if he’s just not that into you. If you make an effort to catch on to those subtle – and let’s face it not-so-subtle – moves a man makes then you can avoid the inevitable heartbreak when your relationship doesn’t come to fruition.

He takes FOREVER to get back to you

You find yourself staring aimlessly at the two blue ticks wondering why he has read your message yet failed to reply. God bless WhatsApp for making us that little bit more psychotic, but still, why wouldn’t he carry on the conversation? It’s simple, you’re just not a priority. When a man is into you, he will make the effort to communicate, even if it’s just mindless banter, he’ll text, he’ll call, but it’s rare that he’ll leave you hanging. So if you find yourself waiting hours or even days for a reply, just realise that you’re better than that. You are worth more than a half-hearted response. Believe that!

He maintains physical distance

If you’re hanging out, it can be pretty inevitable that a playful grab of the arm – for instance – comes into the occasion. Although if he’s not into you, he will ensure that your physical relationship is kept platonic. He’ll keep his distance so much so that an arm round the shoulder wouldn’t even be an option. Especially when you’re in a public place, making physical contact – like holding hands even – is a sign of intimacy and affection, and if he’s unwilling to bite the bullet and get a bit touchy-feely, chances are it’s because he’s thinking about making those moves with someone else.

He’s pretty open about other women

One of the most successful push-away mechanisms is mentioning other women, and a guy who’s just not that into you will have no qualms when it comes to discussing other females with you. He doesn’t see you as a girlfriend therefore he has no problem chatting away about who else he finds attractive, and you’re kinda sat there thinking “kill me now”. Granted, sometimes there are exceptions, but in most instances, he’s trying to tell you that you’re not someone he wants to commit to which is why he’s bringing his other options to light. Hell, he might even go so far as to encouraging you to date guys who aren’t him, and if hearing that from someone you fancy isn’t a kick-in-the-dick, I don’t know what is. Take the hint with a pinch of salt and believe me, you’ll feel much better for it.

You’re always left wondering

It’s time to be cruel to be kind. If a guy’s into you, chances are you’ll know. Stop clinging to all the excuses you’re making for him. “He’ll text tomorrow”, “he’s busy with work”, “he’s not himself right now”. Be honest with yourself, you will never be left wondering if you’re involved in reciprocal relations. The time has come to be cut-throat to avoid falling for someone who won’t fall back, so suck it up and have a little less patience for someone who doesn’t make you a priority.

It can be troublesome to determine whether or not feelings are mutual, so just be aware of the warning signs that’ll point you in the right direction. Don’t invest your time in someone who’s not willing to invest anything in you. Instead, begin to put all your emotional energy into a man who feels the same ardour as you. Oh, and never worry if you find yourself in a situation where he’s just not that into you, because chances are that you’re about to find someone who’s more into you than you’ll ever know.

love naomi

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