6 Reasons To Never Have Sex With Your Ex

Come on now, don’t shy away from the screen. As much as we might hate to admit it, we’ve all done it. There comes (or will come) certain times in our life when we’re sat at home, alone, and we begin to think – what a dangerous past-time. Thoughts of ‘what if’ and ‘why not’ whir through our minds when we start to imagine what life would be like if an ex was not, well, an ex. These teeny-weeny vulnerable phases leave you emotionally open to all eventualities and naturally, can lead you to make monumentally poor decisions,

Like having sex with your ex. 

Sometimes, we do crave a bit of physical contact or confirmation that yes, we are desirable, but for the love of God, attempt to seek this verification elsewhere! No matter how sensitive or sad you’re feeling, there is never, ever, EVER, a legitimate reason for you to crawl back into bed with the ghosts of relationships past and I can’t stress this enough. It’s like having a shower and putting your dirty underwear back on – it’s not right, it doesn’t feel good and there’s plenty of fresh ones to choose from! Still not convinced? Well here are 6 reasons why you should save your hanky panky for another handsome hunk (aka not your ex)

It’s Confusing

confused

You’re not a ‘thing’ anymore. When you’re having sex in a relationship, it’s all fun and games and you can lie there afterwards scantily clad and satisfied but now? No one knows. Do you make eye contact? Do you put on a selfless performance? Do you actually care? It’s a pretty weird experience. You’re two completely different people now, and let’s face it, there are emotions in sex at some stage but do you really want those deep dark feelings brought to light? No, didn’t think so. Post-coitus, you want clarity, not confusion.

It Stops You From Moving On

move on

There’s no chance of you and your ex getting back together – and when you’re feeling delicate – never forget that there was a legitimate reason for your break up. Jumping back in to bed with them will only cloud your judgement and leave you lusting over something that was never meant to be, which in turns, prevents you from moving on with your life. When people say there are plenty more fish in the sea, they’re spot on. You can never move forwards with your love life if you continue to look to the past. So don’t just dip your toe in that ocean, jump in two feet first to find a new beau. Please, please, please don’t go back to square one and bang your ex, because afterwards, the only thing you’ll find yourself banging is your head on the table.

You’ll Miss Him

miss

Sure, you may have broken up on a bad terms, but when you drift further apart, suddenly you seem to forget about anything remotely bad that happened and you find yourself dwelling on the happy times you shared together. Chances are if you find yourself between the sheets, the moment he leaves, you’ll ruin all the hard work you’ve put into getting over him in the first place. You’ll be checking your phone to see if he’s text, you’ll be hoping for any sort of contact to reaffirm that his feelings for you have returned. Newsflash – he probs just wanted to get laid. Don’t put out in an attempt to patch the hole he left in your heart.

He Won’t Change

stop

There. Is. A. Reason. He. Is. Your. Ex. Whether the fault was yours or his, there were reasons as to why you weren’t compatible, so why risk putting yourself through that rigmarole all over again? He won’t have changed, and to be honest, neither have you. As you drift further apart, you’re slowly start to remove your rose-tinted glasses, realising that certain things you seemed to overlook were actually pretty detrimental to the demise of your relationship, in particular, personality traits. I guarantee that if you decide to have sex with your ex, you’ll have an image of the perfect man he once was in your head but as soon as he turns up with his sassy pants on, you’ll remember EXACTLY why you parted ways and regret ever making this decision in the first place. Rather than putting all your energy into getting your ex back in the sack, why not focus on finding someone else? Preferably someone who isn’t a bit of a dickhead.

It’s Not Easy To Give Him The Boot

push

If it is just a bit of sexy time you’re after, or some form of physical affection, there seems to be no harm these days in forming a ‘friends with benefits’ sort of relationship, or even indulging in a cheeky one night stand (yes – I said it – just make sure you both know the dealio) so afterwards, when you’re back to wanting me time, you can kiss goodbye, close the door and pretty much carry on living your life. However, when you have sex with your ex, this isn’t the case. You’ve already formed a close bond in the past, so outstaying their welcome may not seem to be such an alien concept. Don’t let it happen, it will mess with your feelings, it will mess with your mind but more importantly, it will probably mess with the solo Netflix and chill marathon you had planned for yourself on the Sunday. Prioritise ladies!

You’ll Realise It’s ACTUALLY Over

over

Sex with your ex used to be so good – passionate, fun, satisfying – to name but a few things. Now? Not so much. You’ve lost the emotional connection you used to hold dear and now, sex can only be described as an awkward, uncomfortable fumble. Just what you had in mind eh? I guess in this instance, if you were to fall off the wagon and have sex with your ex, this is in fact a pretty good outcome. You will come to realise that is actually is over. You’ll gain closure which will urge you to move on with your life. You’ve had your momentary lapse and now you’re ready to get back out there and find a new suitor to have sex with, and of course, everything else too.

So please, for my own peace of mind (and yours), don’t have sex with your ex.

love naomi

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