With the release of the new 50 Shades Darker film fast approaching (oo er) and everyone talking about it, you’d think – as a nation in this day and age – we’d be much less prudish than we might have been in the past when it comes to discussing our own sex lives, but we’re not. Even though we all have that one friend in our group who never ceases to share too much information, generally speaking, we’re pretty private people who avoid any opportunity to divulge and discuss the details of our sex lives.
I mean I get it, sex is between two people and some of us want to keep the ins and outs that way and that’s fine, but sometimes, life gets in the way and the first thing that takes a hit is – you’ve guessed it – sex. The worst thing is, when you’re stuck in a rut, it can be difficult to spot the signs that your sex life is taking a steady decline and you just accept the inevitable.
Well ladies, I’m here to tell you not to accept this. We women love attention, not in a bad way, but we need it. It should probably be a food group to us. We need physical and emotional attention to be completely content in our relationships and sex forms a huge part of this. Without sex, you feel disconnected from your partner and you may perhaps find yourself becoming irritable at the most trivial things simply because you haven’t had your jollies in a while. Totally understandable, by the way.
So, here are 6 signs to look out for if you think your sex life might be going stale, oh and don’t worry, the solutions are in there too.
You’d rather have an extra half hour’s kip in the morning than sex
When you’re going through the motions and your alarm goes off, your first reaction will be to hit snooze and catch those extra 40 winks you feel are absolutely necessary but this time I say no, do not be defeated by the snooze button. Hit that alarm off, hop on top and ride him like a Blackpool donkey. Following this sort of wake up call, I can guarantee you’ll spend the day with a smile on your face.
Your idea of wearing something sexy in bed doesn’t go past fresh pyjamas
I know why, it’s because you’ve been at work all day and come home and made dinner and put the washing on and finished the ironing and, well, you know the rest. Amazing sex doesn’t just happen, sometimes you need a catalyst, and a silky babydoll or something similar is exactly what you need to make you feel like the sexy woman you are, and it’s a gentle reminder for your man too. Pause for reaction.
You only have sex in the bedroom because that’s where the bed is
And where’s the fun in that? Yes, it’s convenient and comfortable but mix it up a little. There’s certainly no harm to bangin’ in the bathroom or canoodling in the kitchen or love makin’ in the lounge (see what I did there?) Sex shouldn’t be so strict, so keep your options open when it comes to the location of your fornication.
You change your bedsheets more times than you change positions in bed
When sex becomes stale and routine, it’s no wonder that you stick to the missionary position for peace of mind but it’s not the same-old-same-old habit that keeps things exciting, it’s the element of surprise. Try new positions, revisit old favourites, even buy a book of positions I can guarantee you’ve never heard of. You never know, you might even find a new way to reach the end goal if you get my drift.
You only consider sex toys to be suitable for a one-woman show
Wrong. Of course, having a little helping hand (or the likes) whilst self-gratifying is stupendous experience, it’s just as wonderful when you use toys as a couple and it may very well be a sensation that he hasn’t experienced, as well as being one you’ve not experienced with him. Get down to Ann Summers, fill a basket and go nuts. Playtime is for adults too you know.
Your foreplay lasts as long as your patience when he hasn’t done the dishes
If you’re anything like me, I imagine that’s about all of five seconds. Foreplay is SO important to a greatly fulfilling sex life, especially for us women. It’s intimate, it’s selfless and it gets us ready and waiting for the main event. Try and introduce a little more give and take with the hands and mouths before you get down to business. If you prolong the pleasure, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how physically and emotionally satisfied you are.
So there you have it, you know what you need to do. Don’t sit around and wait for a miracle, put yourself first and make the decision to take your sex life from hate to great. Grab the bull by the horns or your man by his…