How soon is “too soon”?

After another particularly productive day  at the office, I left for the long walk home to clear my mind of the multitude of tasks that had preoccupied my thoughts for the majority of the day. The stroll alone simply wasn’t enough to switch off “work mode” so I made the decision to use this opportunity to call a friend, and at the same time, get back to reality whilst enjoying a bit of mindless banter.

I called Sarah. I have known Sarah for years, goodness knows when it was we met but we certainly have a solid friendship that warrants unplanned telephone coversations to talk absolute rubbish to one another. This was the perfect time for just that. The phone rang – a good start to any potential telecommunication – and she answered.

I had assumed, probably pretty foolishly, that the call itself would simply last the length of my journey home (being about thirty minutes). It didn’t. A good two hours later, I found myself at home, still in my working attire, starving to the point of exhaustion albeit pretty content with 120 minutes of friendly conversation. Naturally, the majority of conversation was made up of exchanging witty remarks but one seemingly minor topic seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks.

Sarah announced that she would be moving in with her partner after just a few months of dating. I was in shock. I mean, moving in together, that’s a whole lot of commitment right there. Obviously, I was quite certain that Sarah and Daniel were very happy together (and their Facebook timelines seemed to illustrate the same thing as well) but I couldn’t help but feel like she was moving things too fast. Don’t get me wrong, their actual relationship seemed destined for success from inception. In fact, at times, they almost seemed too perfect together, so was making a formal commitment to cohabit worth the risk?

I spent the rest of my evening thinking about what she had told me, obviously scouring the cupboard of the apartment for snacks and other such things. At this point, the concept of cooking an actual meal had escaped me. I had far too much on my mind to consider culinary delights and I had already come to terms with the fact that my evening meal would most certainly consist of both Doritos and Dairy Milk.

Moving in. This was a big deal. Why did I think this was such a big deal? She was happy, and he was too, so who was I to speculate? I sprawled across my bed, surrounded by an assortment of snacks, and came to a decision that no, I wasn’t one to cast judgement. Choice: that was the thing.

I think a lot of us make it far too easy to forget that each and every one of us is completely different, therefore our lives, our personalities and our choices will most certainly differ most, if not all of the time. People’s choices are a product of circumstances and everyone’s circumstances are monumentally divergent. When it comes to relationships, we all think we know best, but I soon realised that Sarah’s choice to move in with Daniel was perfectly logical to their situation. Personally, I would probably like to wait a good couple of years before making grand movements within my relationship, but that’s me. That’s my choice.

Of course, I’m not suggesting that the choices people make are always necessarily the right ones, but choice determines the direction of your relationship and think about it – if you make a wrong choice, you learn so overall it’s a win win situation. Looking back at my own dating history, I know I’ve made both kinds of choices – good and bad – but the best thing about them is that they were my choices, and at the time, they were right for me.

Was it too soon for Sarah and Daniel to make that commitment? We’ll never really know, but what we do know is that it’s never too soon if it feels right… because if it feels right, well, that’s just wonderful.

love naomi

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