There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
There. I said it. You may look at your friends in their couples or swoon over posts on social media thinking “God, why are they SO happy?” and chances are, things are a lot different to what they seem. Of course, I’m not being the bearer of bad news and saying that everyone who’s in a relationship is miserable. No, not at all. What I am saying is that we people in relationships are human, therefore we make mistakes. Lots of them.
Your relationships – or those of the people you know – will never resemble that of a canal boat drifting down a peaceful river. In fact, it’ll probably be quite the opposite. The rough waves you can experience amongst the ocean of emotions in your relationship can cause some significant ups and down. Newsflash – it’s OK. You’d be surprised at just how common the mistakes are that people make in relationships, the important thing is that you’re able to recognise them, resolve them and move forward. So, wondering what they are? Wonder no more. .
Getting A Little Too Comfortable
The sexy french knickers become the high-rising, time-of-the-month pants – every day of the month. The nights out become nights in. The fancy dinners become frequent takeaways. You get the drift. The moment you’re hooked in a relationship, the effort seems to diminish. This is not because you don’t want to make the effort with each other, you’re just super comfortable. It’s important to remember that you can be comfortable and still make an effort to keep things exciting – whether that’s with fancy pants or not.
Letting Your Families Get Too Involved In Your Relationship
When it comes to relationships, he-says-she-says never helps. You obviously (at least I would like to think so) respect the thoughts and feelings of your parents and siblings, but letting them get a little too involved can have drastically negative effects on your relationship. At the end of the day, a relationship is between 2 people (in the majority of cases) and that’s who it all comes down too. Sometimes, it’s better to keep the door closed.
Bringing Up Important Issues Over Text
Communication is key to a successful relationship moving forward and making waves, however it all depends on how you do it. Thanks to the takeover of tech in our lives, we might be more inclined to bring up sensitive or pressing issues via text rather than in person. This is a BIG NO-NO. Tone of voice can be misconstrued, messages may be misinterpreted and before you know it, you’re in the midst of a blazing row when something so trivial could have been done and dusted within a simple conversation that would have taken a matter of minutes. You’ve got a voice, use it. Trust me, it works.
Assuming You Know What Your Partner Wants Or Needs At Any Given Moment
I’ve no doubt whatsoever that if you’re in a long term relationship, you know your partner pretty well. However, sometimes you just don’t know what’s going on in their head. The worst thing you can do in this situation is think that you do. “Go and have a sleep” or “just chill out” or “go to a doctor” or “you’ll be fine” or blah blah blah. You may very well assume that you know exactly what they need because that’s what YOU would need. Everyone’s different, even the people you think you know best, so remember that. Sometimes, the worst thing you can do is try to help.
Avoiding Money Talks
Money is a touchy subject. Always has been, always will be, so it’s no surprise that a lot of couples avoid talking about it. Newsflash – this is possibly THE worst thing you can do. When you cohabit or even just share lives, money plays a bit part and it’s important to have the balls (or the boobs) to talk about it in all shapes and forms. Your worries, your accomplishments, your spending, your savings. Honesty is the best policy and it prevents any unwanted surprises or even, the troubles that might come with debts. Finances don’t have to be frightening!
Eugh, tit for tat. Spare me, honestly. Relationships are exactly that – relationships. They are not – I repeat, NOT – a competition. Just because you got him a gift doesn’t mean he should return the favour. Just because he gave you a lift into town doesn’t mean you owe him one. See where I’m going with this? Score keeping quickly becomes petty squabbles which then become full blown arguments and in some cases, the inevitable end of a toxic, competitive relationship. It’s not big, it’s not clever. Just enjoy the nice things and don’t be too expecting and all will be rosy.
Avoiding Conflict Altogether
It’s no secret that the one thing worse than arguing is not arguing at all. Okay, I know that sounds weird but hear me out. If you’re not able to lay all your cards on the table with your partner, those cards slowly start to stack up inside you. That is until one day, the tower of cards crumbles catastrophically into a massive altercation that may result in overreactions, saying things you don’t mean, or other unnecessary conflict. Communication is key – for better or for worse. Let it all out and you’ll always feel good for getting things off your chest and speaking your truths.
Being a “happy couple” certainly doesn’t mean you’re happy all day every day. WE ARE HUMAN, NOT ROBOTS. We will make mistakes and this is entirely inevitable. However, truly happy couples are able to recognise this so if something’s going wrong, they sort it out and do whatever it takes. Period.