Warning! Today is Valencheat’s Day

Valencheats Day

Have you heard of Valencheat’s Day?

No, nor me until very recently but it is, in fact, very real. Naturally, you won’t find a Hallmark greetings card in your local Clinton’s to celebrate such an occasion but it does exist, and it’s pretty rats if you ask me.

Valencheat’s day (20th February) is the new Valentine’s Day for cheats

It’s going to be a busy couple of weeks for adulterers- more cheats see their lover on the Wednesday after Valentine’s day than any other day of the year. Well, this is exciting news isn’t it. Bloody adulterers, honestly. Granted, I’m not one to judge (most of the time) but when are people going to see sense?

Adultery – in my opinion – happens for a reason. If you’re not happy, leave. If you’re seeking greener grass, leave. If you have alternative desires, leave. If you don’t know what you want, leave. There are 2 options; resolve, or leave. It’s 50/50. You can phone a friend, ask the audience, but at the end of the day, principles remain the same. Adultery isn’t necessary, it’s cruel, selfish and thoughtless.

Valencheat’s Day? Oh bugger off. 

Let’s have a closer look at this survey conducted by  IllicitEncounters.com and break this down into easily digestible, comprehensible logic. 

80% of cheats admit that the Valentine’s day with their spouse was disappointing. Either they find that their partner doesn’t put enough effort on the day, conjugal problems prevail and ruin the day, or they don’t feel the spark.

So why are you still in this relationship, might I ask? If you have conjugal problems, where is the effort to resolve them? If you don’t wish to resolve them, why are you still living a facade? All relationships require trust, commitment and above all, work, for them to – well – work. If you are no longer emotionally invested in a relationship – whether it be marriage, long-term or short-term – is it fair, right or dare I say ethical to continue pretending? I think not.

“Like any other relationship, people want to take care of their lover and show their appreciation for them. Doing so secretly only makes it more exciting.”

Wow. Okay, so as much as I appreciate that adultery can sometimes be circumstantial, I don’t think excitement in relationships comes from cheating. You can have just as much excitement being faithful but you’ve got to make it happen. We’re not puppets on strings. There’s not some great, powerful puppet master who’ll intervene at any given moment to make us do things we wish would happen. We’ve got to take the proverbial bull by the horns and make it happen ourselves. Sex life drying up? Spice it up. No time for date night? Make time. Feeling insecure? Find a way to empower yourself.

Besides spending time together, lovers also exchange gifts on this special day. Over 65% of men send their mistress a late Valentine’s day present, one third of the time spending more than they have spent for their wife.

Surprising? Perhaps. Worrying? Definitely. Of course, I always parp on about Valentine’s Day not being about gifts but the thought of a husband spending more on a gift for a mistress than he would his wife leaves a lot of unanswered questions floating in the ether. Either way, it’s wholly unacceptable.

Freya, 39, says: “Affairs are not just about sex- well at least not to me. Being courted is personally very important, it‘s one of the reasons why I am having an affair in the first place: feeling wanted again and being treated romantically.”

This is the exact problem I’m talking about. Freya here is having an affair because she wants to feel wanted again. Rather than getting involved in sneaking around and cheating on your significant other, if you don’t feel wanted anymore – surely that’s a straw to break the camel’s back? Rather than thinking ‘woe is me’ and the likes – talk about it. Tell your partner that this is how you feel and speak your truths. If nothing changes, and continues to show no signs of changing, perhaps more drastic action is required. If it does change, you’ve done it, you’ve fixed it, you feel wanted again and the spark is back. It really is as black and white as it sounds.

Not only is Valencheat’s day the day when the most people see their lover, but it is also the day that the most married people seek an affair. For the past 4 years, Valencheat’s day has been the day with most people signing up to IllicitEntounters.com.

If you are in an unhappy relationship, or a relationship that you feel isn’t working, you have 2 choices; resolve or leave. Don’t stay around because it’s ‘nicer for the kids’. Do you really want your children growing up with role models who don’t want to be in the same room as each other? My guess is not. If you truly want your current relationship to work, it requires time, effort and above all, clear communication from both parties to make it a success. Without these elements, your relationship will crumble and inevitably come to a bitter end.

Each to their own? Maybe, but in my opinion, adultery is an unnecessary evil. 

Naomi Narrative

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