A relationship should deliver certain things to both partners for it to be considered genuinely worthwhile.
A sense of trust, the feeling like the other person truly cares about your well-being, and of course, smaller things like just simple comfort means a lot at the end of the day. Of course, it isn’t always easy for someone to relax and let themselves let loose with someone, especially during the early stages of any relationship.
That means it’s crucial to work with your own mental state, as well as your partner’s, to best create an environment of comfort and relaxation. Being comfortable with your partner is the key to a happy and healthy relationship.
Here are just a few ways to accomplish this task
Don’t Rush or Force Anything
People’s comfort levels can be on wildly different wavelengths at the start of any relationship. You don’t know where they were mentally before you met, so getting into any sort of vibe might take some time. Accept that little things like getting a kiss every time you see them might not be in the cards right off the bat.
You shouldn’t be doing anything your partner isn’t ready for in the hopes that it breaks down barriers, as it will often have the opposite effect. Your partner needs to be able to feel as if they can trust you to respect their boundaries. Give them that.
Don’t Overthink When Things Aren’t Going Perfectly
At the beginning of a relationship, there are sure to be a few missteps. Maybe someone didn’t fully understand what you meant by a certain comment or action, or maybe they just aren’t used to you yet. It’s important that you don’t overthink subtle social cues at this point. It’s absolutely too much to expect you two to click perfectly right off the bat. People just don’t work that way.
Allow yourself enough time and space for the relationship to develop organically, while remembering not to hit the ejection seat just because they didn’t smile when you expected them to. If you’re always worried about how each minor reaction affects your relationship (when in reality, they probably don’t), you won’t be able to let your guard down and actually interface with the other person.
Understand Levels of Intimacy
How open someone is to sexual advances at different stages of a relationship is another aspect of the human experience that varies wildly. There are a lot of stories on sites like omgkinky.com that explore how two people come together over time to delight in sexual congress. You’ll notice quickly that they seldom start with two people on the same page right off the bat.
Someone might just want to cuddle at the beginning with no extra expectations, and that’s okay. If someone feels pressured to do more physically than they want to, it will stop them from being able to get comfortable around you since they’ll think you’re holding out for more. Just wanting to cuddle doesn’t mean that they don’t find you attractive or that you aren’t interesting enough. It’s just how their level of intimacy works overall.
Most of these tips all relate to just being able to go with the flow, and understand that the other person is just as complex as you are with hopes, dreams, anxieties, and all of the rest. Think of any relationship like a plant. Plants can be over-watered or get too much sun and not blossom as beautifully as they could have. Finding the exact mixture of hands-on and hands-off behaviour can be very difficult, but nobody is out here saying dating is easy.