The popularity of sexting exploded with the onset of the pandemic. And now that people know how much fun it is, sexting isn’t going anywhere. Whether you’re new to sexting or a seasoned pro, the below tips can help you (and your partner!) have the best time possible.
1. Get Consent
The first rule of any sexual encounter is to ensure that your partner is as into it as you are. Help tip the odds in your favor by picking a time when your partner is not at work, is away from you, and possibly has some time on their hands. Broach the subject at a time when there’s no pressure, and if they seem interested, great! You’ve got the green light. But the best practice is to ask again right before you get started so that you know nothing has changed.
2. Remember the Tricks You Learned in Creative Writing
No, your grammar doesn’t have to be perfect. And emojis will work in a pinch, although they can be a bit generic. But if you think about the most vividly conjured sex scenes from books, your sexts will benefit. Basic mindfulness principles come into play here, too. Think about your favorite sights, sounds, smells, touches, and tastes during sex. Using your five senses will make your sexts more visceral. A great way to start is by saying, “I love the way you…” and then fill in the blank with the sense you are thinking about. This is also an excellent way to educate your partner about which senses you’re most in touch with during sex.
Also, choose your words carefully. Replying “that’s so hot” for the ninth time to a sext you received is going to get boring for both of you. Breaking out the old thesaurus mid-sext might not seem sexy. So, instead, brainstorm some words other than “sexy” and “hot” that perfectly describe them before you get started. Also, skip the “what would you do if you were here right now,” because it places the entire burden on the other person to come up with something interesting. Sexting should always be a joint effort.
3. Use Your Imagination
One of the most exciting aspects of texting is that you can try out new things. If you’re not very verbal in bed, that doesn’t mean you can’t be the world’s best dirty talker over sext. Some people find the physical distance between them and their partner gives them a level of bravery they just don’t have during in-person sex. Feel free to start out with a bit of innuendo before moving on to the explicit stuff if you need a little warm-up. So, summon the boldest version of yourself and dive in.
4. Consider Mixing in Something Taboo
Adding in taboo elements can take sexts to the next level. Things that are forbidden are inherently erotic because they are something that we are conditioned not to do. By definition, they are naughty. So, even if you’d never be caught dead having sex in public, engaging in a sexting fantasy about it can be a lot of fun. Bonus: talking about your fantasies with your partner is a bonding experience, too.
5. Find Someone You Trust
If you don’t have a partner to sext with, that’s okay. You can easily find someone to experiment with online. You’ll want to maintain your privacy by only sending pictures without your face. And, most importantly, you’ll want to find a site that only hooks you up with people who are of age. Secure sites for sexting that protect your information are out there, so find one you trust and get started sexting!