At the start of a relationship, it is normal for sparks to fly and both parties lusting for each other.
During this period, the body experiences increased excitement due to higher levels of chemicals like adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin.
Your brain experiences a natural high from these chemicals making you excited each time you see your partner. Your energy levels also increase and you long for your partner always. You like how they make you feel. You miss them and want to be with them all the time.
There are several results of this including not noticing anything wrong with your partner. They are just perfect and can never do wrong. A very important part of this period is how your sexual hormones react. You want to make love to them every time. It is almost like you cannot get enough of them.
After a while, it is normal for couples to transition into a phase of companionship. This stage is one of attachment and while you still love your partner, the excitement is not there anymore. You are committed to and comfortable with the relationship and that is about it.
This is associated with hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin. Although these hormones promote bonding, affection, and companionship, over time, the couple loses their initial spark and begins to drift apart little by little.
At this time, the excitement and desire for sex and each other begin to wane. This happens to even the best and happiest of couples and it could be due to several factors. It could be a result of stress, work, more responsibilities, and so on.
Sometimes it may be due to hardships, financial stress, or personal problems. It could as well be natural and it may result from resentments, fights, disappointments, and many other issues. You can see some reasons why it happens in this article.
Reigniting Your Love and Excitement
Reigniting this initial spark, excitement, and sexual desire is done through activities that remind the brain of the initial stage of love. These activities may bring about a little nervousness and anxiety but eventually, they will activate a chemical process involving the hormones controlling sex.
There are a few things you may do to put the spark back into your relationship. What are some of these activities and how do you make your relationship more exciting?
Put Your Relationship First
First things first, you need to prioritise your partner and relationship. With the deluge of activities that you have to attend to daily, your relationship can easily be relegated to the backseat. Rather than allowing this, make a conscious effort not to.
Create time for little things that will remind your partner that you still love and care about them. Avoid making excuses that you are busy, tired, or not in the mood. Rather invest quality time even if it is a little at a time.
Touch Each Other More
Do not take for granted the power of touching each other. You have to reintroduce it into your relationship. You may not know how important this is. With every hand-holding, hug, kiss, or cuddle, you will continue to grow fond of each other.
You can give each other massages, wrap your hands around each other or snuggle against each other. By maintaining constant physical connection, you will create warm fuzzy feelings in each other. Both of you will feel loved and you will put yourselves into the right mood that can lead to something raunchy.
Talk to Each Other More
Asides from touching, talking to each other often all through the day is another powerful way of connecting. It also gets you into the mood. You can communicate in different ways; phone calls, text messages, instant messages, etc. You may even write and leave little notes for each other.
Ensure that these talks are not businesslike but rather romantic. You should remind your lover that you love them. This makes them understand that you are thinking about them and will help to bring the two of you closer.
Do Things and Spend Time Together
The more quality time you spend with a person, the fonder you grow about them. Life can be brutal and go very fast sometimes but you have to find a way to slow it down.
There are tons of ways to spend time with your loved one. You can go on a date, see a movie together, play games, watch television and many more. You may also even relax together and chat while you do so.
Ensure that the time you spend together is intentional and intimate without any form of distraction or intrusion. Let your attention be undivided and ensure it is worthwhile. This will enable your love to grow stronger.
Spice up Your Sex Life
Sex is an essential part of a love relationship and not getting enough of it could lead to issues. On the other hand, a good dose of sex in your relationship can help to strengthen it. Avoid excuses and help your partner get aroused by doing various things.
There are many ways to improve your sex life. You can start by sending sexy and romantic messages. Flirt with your partner all through the day and let them know they are in your thoughts.
You can arouse your partner by giving a massage and while doing so touch them in sensitive parts of their body. Lighten the mood by lighting up your bedroom, use essential oils, and play soft music.
At other times, both of you can make out on a couch like teenagers while deeply kissing each other. When you have little time, you can have a quickie. You may also spice up a relationship with couples toys or by watching porn together.
Sex toys are prevalent these days and you do not have any excuse not to use them to enhance your relationship. There are different types of sex toys available and you can experiment with various ones to help you better reach orgasms.
Couple toys help you to enjoy sex more, communicate better and increase your intimacy. The moment of pure pleasure created by these devices helps you grow fond of each other and will greatly improve your relationship.
Dress Seductively
Another way to make your relationship better is by dressing up a little sexier. Your partner probably has a favorite dress or shirt that they like to see you in. It could be a certain color that makes you look dashing and sexy.
Things such as wearing sexy lingerie or wearing their favorite cologne will also do the trick. Remember when you first met, you made extra effort to dress up and appear nice anytime you are meeting each other. Be intentional. Bring that back again and dress up for your partner.
Also, be creative and do new things that will get your partner to notice and long for you. If you are going on a date, wear some makeup and a nice outfit, get a haircut, and a fresh shave. Simply, look your best.
Give Each Other Needed Space
This may sound like irony but sometimes, you have to learn to give your partner their space. Even though you are in a relationship, each person by themselves has a personality. Sometimes, they may just want to be alone.
By going apart for a while, you will miss each other, and it helps you to grow fonder of each other. Oftentimes, you can take people for granted and would not recognise how much you miss them until they are not available.
At these times, ramp up on your hobbies, meet up with friends and learn to enjoy time with yourself. You will learn to appreciate their presence and will long to be with them again when you finally see them.
Compliment and Surprise Each Other
One easy way to get your spouse’s attention is to compliment them. You can also surprise them with kind acts and gifts. Appreciate them for the little things they do and what you like in them. Remember to let them know they look good and things like that. In other words, massage their ego and make them feel wanted.
You can as well step out of your comfort zone and do things that your partner likes. These can be things such as participating in what they enjoy like watching sports, shopping, etc. You can send flowers, bake them a cake, clean the house or buy one of their favorite things for them. You can find more ways to improve your relationship here https://www.thegentlemansjournal.com/article/10-ways-to-spice-up-your-sex-life/
Conclusion
It is common that after being in a relationship for some time, things might get cold. You do not get as excited nor have the spark you had when you started. While this may be normal, who says it must remain normal?
You can take steps to re-ignite your spark by doing the things above and more. Be intentional in spending time together, talking to each other and dressing seductively. Do not forget the sex. Pleasurable sex leads to a better relationship and you can enhance these by using couple toys.
