Should you move to a new town, county – or even a new country – for the sake of a relationship?
While it’s possible to sustain a long distance relationship, most partners would prefer to stay together given the option. However, relocating somewhere new is a big decision and you need to consider what you’re moving for and what you’ll be giving up. Below are a few questions to help you further decide whether relocating is a good idea.
How far will you be moving?
There’s a big difference between moving to a new town a few miles away and moving half-way across the world. Moving further away means moving further away from home – which could make keeping contact with friends and relatives harder. There will also be greater cultural changes the further you move away.
Generally speaking, you shouldn’t move too far away unless you really know a person, which leads to the next question…
How well do you know each other?
You should never relocate far away to be someone you barely know. If you’ve only ever talked online, take the step to meet in person first – ideally for a month so that you can really get to know them. The same goes for someone you may have had a fling with while on holiday.
If you’re already in a long and steady relationship and you’re currently living together, relocating together might not be so much of a leap. If you feel you already know each other inside-out and you feel that this is causing things to get stale, moving away together could in fact be just what is needed to spice things up – it could be a way of learning more about each other so that you can keep building your relationship.
Is it a temporary or permanent move?
You should consider whether it’s likely to be a temporary move or a permanent move. If a partner wants to move away for a few months for a work project or to look after a sick relative, you may have the option to stay at home and maintain a long distance relationship. Alternatively, you could move with them and keep your possessions at home (and possibly even keep any job open to return to depending on how generous your employer is).
A permanent move is a much bigger decision. This is especially the case when moving to another country as there will be much bigger cultural changes. You may even find that there are legal requirements that you’re unable to meet when relocating abroad – unless your partner is already living abroad and is able to apply for a UK spouse visa, you could find that it’s costly and that you need a job lined up. Applying for a temporary visa generally isn’t as difficult.
What sacrifices will you have to make?
It’s very important that you consider the sacrifices you’ll be making. Will you have to give career goals? Will you be limiting contact with friends and family? Are there hobbies and interests that you’ll have to give up? Will the cost of living be greater? If you plan to bring kids, will they have to leave behind their current school and friends? You should weigh up whether these sacrifices are too much.
What else can you gain from moving?
It’s possible that you may gain a lot from moving. On top of being with someone you love, it could be a doorway to new experiences and maybe even better job opportunities. Think about the location you’re moving to and whether it has more going for it than where you currently live.
After all, it all comes down to love. Let’s face it, you’d travel to the ends of the Earth for true love – I know I would.
