Whether you’re dating or in a relationship, we’re always trying to find new and exciting ways to spice up our sex lives. I mean, with the rise of fictional characters like Christian Grey, it seems almost a necessity to experiment and deviate from the norm of just ‘missionary’ love making.
I’m talking about, well, talking. Doing so during sex is definitely a good thing because in most instances, it’s a great way for you and your significant other to connect not just physically, but mentally as well. In addition to all that moaning and panting, you should feel comfortable enough to express your feelings during intercourse, involving each other ‘in the moment’ in an alternative way, and it works!
Naturally, at times, sex is just so good that we can’t help but talk, and I don’t just mean talk dirty, I mean say exactly what’s on our minds. However, calling all men, sometimes you really just need to shut the fuck up.
Here are 4 things men should NEVER say during sex… EVER!
“My ex loved it when I did this”
Well, for starters, I’m not your ex so there’s your first problem right there. No one – male or female – wants to be compared in any way, shape or form, to the previous lover of your current partner. What need is there for you tell us what your ex enjoyed in bed? We’re all different, we all like different things, so what pleases one woman may not necessarily please another. When you start a new relationship, one of the most exciting things is exploring what pushes each other’s buttons, not confirming the things that pushed the buttons of the past.
As you know, we women are pretty emotional creatures and mentioning an ex-partner during an intimate encounter can be pretty hurtful, and it certainly won’t turn us on. Don’t look back and think what you did for your ex, look forwards and think what you can do for your partner now and I’ll be honest, you might be pleasantly surprised with the outcome.
“I have to go soon”
Oh really? Well on your way then, I’ve got a vibrator, I’ll be fine. What a turn off. If you set a limit on sexual intercourse, that moment of intense passion can be gone in an instant, especially when you’re clock watching. If we know that we’re shagging on a schedule, we’ll find it a lot harder to get aroused and let’s face it, it takes two to tango, so mentioning something that puts a boundary on sex can kill it completely.
The last thing a woman wants to feel like is an inconvenience to a man, particularly when it comes to sex. If you really are struggling for time, maybe get between the sheets at an alternative hour when you’re able to concentrate on the task at hand, rather than the watch on your wrist.
“Don’t do it like that”
Oh okay then well I’ll just not do it all then. At the beginning of any new relationship, both men and women certainly experience anxiety and insecurities about their sexual performance and like I said earlier, you’ve got to figure out which buttons to push, so when you blurt out something like that, you undoubtedly kill our confidence in selfless pleasuring, and it sucks, not to mention it completely ruins the moment.
Of course, it’s a great idea to be open and honest about what you like in the bedroom department, but rather than being negative about it, why not put more effort into saying the things you like rather than the things you don’t. Believe it or not, we women are great listeners, and learners for that matter, so if you’re vocal about what really works for you, it’s obviously going to work in your favour, so think twice when it comes to expressing your feelings.
“Have you come yet?”
Well if you have to ask, that’s a sure fire sign that I’m nowhere near. Dear God, sometimes it’s difficult enough for we women to orgasm as it is without men asking the question and putting unnecessary pressure on us to finish up quickly. It’s perfectly normal for a woman to take a longer amount of time to have a happy ending, but don’t ask, trust me – when she does, you’ll know!
If you ask, you’ll ruin the atmosphere and as close as she may have been, you’ve just got yourself back to square one having to start all over again. Do not pass go, do not collect £200, just get your head between her legs until a climax is blatant and you’re both left satisfied and smiling. Believe me, the last thing you want is to force a woman to fake an orgasm if you put her under pressure to do so!