Foreplay: What Are You Doing Down There?

Foreplay: What Are You Doing Down There?

Sex as a whole plays an integral role in any relationship. Whether it’s a no-strings liaison or a romantic attachment, there’s no better feeling than being left satisfied and smiling after a successful experience between the sheets. However, before any of us get down to business, we’ve got to make sure we’re ready for the off. That’s right. Foreplay, and I’m sad to say that not everyone realises just how importance this is to a fabulous sexual encounter.

Have you ever tried going down a water slide with no water? 

No, of course not, but if you had, you’d realise the importance of foreplay. As with anything, preparation is needed in order to guarantee a good outcome and the same applies to sex. If you want to have a good sex life, then you need to master foreplay and make it good. Take the time to find out what your partner wants, and it’s just as important to know exactly what does it for you too. Whether you opt in to using your hands or your head, you’ll find out what works and when it does, don’t worry, you don’t need to thank me.

I used to be dating a guy – a sporty man – you know the type. He was addicted to the gym, and working out, and protein shakes. He was nice enough, pretty tall, good banter I suppose and one of the best smiles I’d ever seen. Those pearly whites did things to me I didn’t think were possible. Unfortunately, I couldn’t say the same about his tekkers when it came to foreplay. We weren’t dating all that long really, maybe not even couple of months, and we only had full blown sex a couple of times. It’s no secret as to why.

I remember the first time his hands ventured south. Naturally, after a few weeks of dating and things start to get sexually serious, the sheer anticipation and excitement can be too much to bear. I’m not sure what he was doing down there, or what he was trying to do, but it was terrible. I didn’t think people could be so uneducated when it came to foreplay in this day and age, but sadly I was wrong. I could only assume that he was trying to light some sort of fire between my legs, and the friction was becoming too much to handle. Did he know what a vagina was? I’d thought a sports-type might be a bit of a lad, you know, in his late teens he’d have had a girl at every pitch so to speak, so when it came to second base, I thought he may have had more than enough practise but I was mistaken. The poor man was clueless. He continued to try and light a spark down there, and I had to stop him – there was no way I was ending this evening with friction burns on my fanny. Who needs that?

He didn’t seem too disheartened initially, mainly because he thought it was ‘his turn’. Note: Sex should always be about pleasing the person you’re with, and you should never give to receive. It’s a pretty unattractive quality when you put on a piss-poor performance just to get your jollies in return. So we had figured, after a few occasions, that hands weren’t going to a be good tool for foreplay, so we changed it up. It was time for a head between my legs, and I was excited. Surely it’s not hard to navigate erogenous zones when you’ve got your face smack bang in front of it. Guess what? Wrong again.

Is this normal? He was like a cat licking milk from a saucer. It wasn’t working, and I couldn’t help but wonder what I had in the cupboards to make for dinner later. In fact, I found myself thinking of everything but the sex. I was totally lost, but not in the moment. Don’t worry though, I didn’t stoop so low as to fake an orgasm. I just hopped on top and finished the job.

Foreplay is like the preview of a film – it should be all the best bits before you get to the main event. Think about it – if a movie trailer was boring and disappointing and didn’t excite you, would you turn up to the premier? Hell no, and it’s the same with sex. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friends if you’re not too sure what you’re doing, or you want new ideas, or if you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner. You wouldn’t believe how many people actually welcome sex as a topic of conversation because discussing feelings, how to’s, and dos and don’ts, will ensure that you’re both brilliant between the sheets.

love naomi


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