Is Technology Killing The Tryst?


“Wow. That sex was amazing. Why don’t we… oh, you want to scroll through Facebook. Okay. You’re doing it. Well, I’ll just lie here, and, yeah, you just catch up on your newsfeed”

We’ve all been there. How things change. I had always said I’d never be up for a threesome but apparently, I no longer have a choice in this day and age, and I’m starting to feel like the third party. Did you know that, according to new research, 1 in 5 Brits have identified the ‘third person’ in their relationship as their phone? Not surprising really, but pretty concerning nonetheless.

Millenials continue to form the assumption that romance is dead and it’s no shock, because rather than chatting and getting to know each other more over dinner and drinks, we’re too busy choosing the right filter for the photo of the meal, or tweeting to complain about the lack of customer service, or snapchatting each course – you get the idea. These days, there are so many dating situations and scenarios  that have lost their intimacy because of social media and mobile phones, and I couldn’t help but wonder – is technology killing the tryst?

The ‘instant generation’ are now addicted to new technology and it’s no fault of their own, it’s everywhere, and it can have increasingly negative effects on relationships for more reasons than one. In fact, researchers who polled 2000 Brits, found that quitting Facebook alone has been hailed to be one of the best ways to save an ailing relationship – but how many people do you think would be willing to make such a grand gesture for a significant other? Facebook is now a way of life, and if you’re not using it, you’re not normal, and that’s not normal in itself! Think about it though – if you ditch social media – you’re ridding yourself of the constant gaze of friends and family which adds unnecessary pressure to a progressing romantic partnership. Take a look at the couples around you – are they sat there on their phones rather than chatting? Are they posting online, rather than enjoying each other’s company? If the answer is yes, this may prove to be pretty detrimental further down the line.

Author Andy Gibney,  love and relationship expert, believes that thanks to the rising importance of social media, “our ever connected world has actually made us more disconnected with each other than ever before” and I couldn’t agree with him more. We’re all guilty of it. How many spats have you had with your partner due to a misinterpreted text message? How many times have you developed unnecessary insecurities from seeing their online activity? The list is literally endless. The digital world is creating a multitude of problems for those in relationships that, 10 years ago, didn’t even exist, and this is why romantic rendezvous are dying out.

The next time you go on a date, why don’t you leave your phone at home? Sure, you’ll feel some withdrawal but you’ll soon find that your attention is all about the situation and not the social media and believe me, it’s a great feeling. You’re having an intimate encounter with your partner? Enjoy it! Don’t feel the need to check or update social platforms, just be content that you’re together and sharing some pretty unforgettable experiences.

It’s high time that Generation Y begin to make the most of the real world, and forget about the virtual universe. Romantic liaisons and promising relationships are too often hindered by online influences, so don’t take the bait. Technology will always be there if you want it, but make sure your priority is the person who’ll always be there when you need them. 

love naomi

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