Yes, that’s right single girls, it’s time for a new year and a new you. I think we’re all fully aware by now that dating in this day and age simply isn’t plain, it’s a pain, but good news – it doesn’t have to be! I’m sure (as I certainly have) through dating in 2015 you’ve experienced the good, the bad and the ugly (not to mention the short and the sexually inexperienced) but that’s in the past. It’s 2016 and this is the year – I can feel it.
So how am I going to tackle the dating scene this year? I’ve only gone and made some resolutions. Not you’re stereotypical drop-a-dress size resolutions because let’s face it – I lasted about 2 days on green tea and vegetables and went straight back to Galaxy and chinese food – as I’m sure the vast majority have also. No, this time, I’m talking dating resolutions. The mistakes I made through dating in 2015 have allowed me to not only learn, but to form a list of dos and donts for dating in the New Year. So, here you have it, my desperately detailed dating resolutions. Remember ladies, take heed!
I must not immediately check the height of every man who messages me on POF
As a relatively tall woman (5’8″), my first port of call when assessing a potential partner is just how many feet and inches they stand although let’s face it, tall definitely doesn’t mean anything good at all. I will give each and every man I interact with the benefit of the doubt and maybe even force myself to wear flats if my knight in shining armour turns out to be lookin’ like Lord Farquaad. Small pleasures, as they say.
I must not drink an entire bottle of wine on the first date
It’s all well and good knockin’ back the vino at the weekend, but as a mid-week first-dater, massive alcohol consumption has never done me any favours. Of course, it’s always down to a few, first meeting jitters but I must not get carried away. Let’s face it, the more wine you drink, the more you snort when you laugh and slur your words and no man is going to want to take that woman home to meet his mother. From now on, I will stick to a 2 glass limit in the hope that a) I don’t embarrass myself, b) I don’t have a hangover the next day and c) there’ll be a second date on the cards (unless there’s no chemistry, in which case, I’ll probs get pissed).
I must not be a psycho and stalk my ex-boyfriend’s online in the hope that they’ve died without my love
Facebook is a lethal tool for flashbacks to your past. The past is the past for a reason, ergo if it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be and I’ve learnt this. I will not be subjected to looking up lost lovers in the hope that they’re miserable without me, in fact, I won’t use social media for this purpose at all. Now, if by chance I do happen to stumble across their profiles online, it’ll only be to see how my his Aunty Sharon enjoyed her holiday to Dubai in 2010.
I must not be too sensible when making decisions about dating
I’ve come to realise that love isn’t logical, it’s emotional and any decisions that need to be made whilst dating must be based on my feelings. 2016 is going to be one big year of carpe diem for me. I’m going to live in the moment and enjoy myself, not thinking about consequences or the future, and I’m definitely not going to follow the rules or rest on tradition in any romantic situation, from now on, I’m going to go with my gut – and no, for once, that does not have any connection to food.
I must shave my legs on a regular basis
We all know that being single comes with many advantages and a major one being that you can groom at your leisure. I’ve decided that this needs to change. Not only am I going to take care of my appearance, I’m gonna be perfectly preened every single day and let’s face it, there’s no better feeling than being silky smooth and when you look good, you feel good so no I say. No more velcro legs sticking to the bedsheets or becoming ‘at one with nature’, from now on I’m going to shave for the relationship I want, not the relationship I have.
So there you have it, thanks to my bad dating blunders, I’m able to start the New Year confident that I’ve learnt from my past and in 2016, Naomi is going to be a not-bothered-about-height, sober, non-Facebook-stalking, yolo-embracing, smooth-legged singleton, but the biggest question is, what are YOUR dating resolutions?