A New Year generally signifies new beginnings in life and in particular, new relationships. I have no doubt you’ll meet new people, chat online and go on dates but there’s definitely a question that plagues our minds in connection with any romantic liaison – how do I know if he’s the one?
It’s simple – it’s all about chemistry (and a little bit of biology)
No, I’m not talking hydroponics or science and such. Well, I am – kind of – but hear me out. In the context of relationships (and according to conventional wisdom), “chemistry is a complex emotion that two people get when they share a special connection”. Believe it or not, this doesn’t necessarily refer to a sexual bond. Chemistry is often instantaneous purely because it’s a feeling of impulse: impulse that makes two people think “we click”.
Personally, from experience, I know this to be true. You can spend ages chatting to someone online but when you meet them, that initial romantic spark is just non-existent and that’s because there’s no real chemistry between those people in question. That’s the great thing about chemistry – it’s either there or it isn’t, and you know within seconds. It’s a pretty odd sensation when you think about it. How is it that you can be perfectly compatible with someone in a virtual environment yet in reality you couldn’t be more emotionally distant?
At inception, it seems several factors come into play where chemistry’s concerned and the magnetic pull of someone’s physical appeal definitely plays a part. However, don’t be too quick to mistake attractiveness for chemistry. As I said, biology is – of course – an integral ingredient to concoct a recipe for romance but just because you find someone aesthetically pleasing, this doesn’t mean that mutual bond you share is strong, which ultimately means that any sort of relationship formed of the basis of animal instincts will be unsurprisingly short-lived. Although physical attraction (looking at someone in awe and thinking ‘would bang’) is an important part of any relationship, biology simply isn’t enough to keep a couple together. Why? Because chemistry is so much more than just looking at someone and wanting to rip their clothes off.
Chemistry is the emotional connection present you’re with each other. It’s personality traits, it’s motivations in life, it’s passion for the same things, it’s caring about the same causes, it’s the mutual emotional make-ups that bring out those warm, fuzzy feelings (which the majority of us hate). You just know when people have chemistry, mainly because their presence makes everyone within a 50-foot radius feel completely nauseous. Yes – we’ve all been that couple – or at least seen that couple.
The couple who can’t be without each other. They’ll sit their with their phones by their sides hoping that the next call or text is the other and chances are, it will be. Their thoughts are monumentally monopolised by visions and dreams of the other, scenarios of the future containing them both, as clear as day in their minds. They’ll talk all day, they’ll talk all night, and days will feel like hours. Chemistry forms the foundation of true love, and making any relationship feel like a great romantic novel in which there is nothing but a happy ending.
In this day and age, people are far too willing to settle into relationships where chemistry is lacking and sometimes, non-existent, and this saddens me. People are scared to be alone, insecure – the list is endless – and therefore forget what a wonderful sensation it is to have great chemistry with another. Call it passion. Call it love. Call it sickness. Call it what you will, but chemistry is the starry-eyed dreaminess and alarmingly liberal use of the ‘L’ word that will form the basis of a solid, healthy, long-lasting relationship.
It’s far too easy to flit from one relationship to another, this one’s handsome, this one’s intelligent, this one’s taller than six feet, this one’s funny – you get my drift – but imagine meeting someone who embodies all the things that put that sickly, smitten smile on your face. So please, for my own peace of mind (and for your own happily ever after), don’t settle for anything less than chemistry (and a little bit of biology).
As we all travel down the road to true love, we can’t speed up the process without finding chemistry with the right person because that simple emotion in itself gives a relationship drive in a way in which nothing else can.