Everyone, meet Steve*
Could be a nice guy huh? Hmm, don’t be fooled. This supposedly charming man AKA 29 year old building surveyor has apparently not really had much luck with online dating. In normal circumstances, we’d usually utter the “aww” sound in the hope that Steve* finds a good woman on the net, but wait for it, all is not as it seems.
It looks as if Steve* is hoping to meet a very special sort of lady on Plenty of Fish, and his demands when talking about what his future partner should be like are nothing short of predominant within his online dating profile. So come, let us wade through this profile and see if we can fathom as to why Steve* has seen little success as a single man looking to settle.
Steve’s* 422 word profile includes many specific points, so I guess if you don’t fit the bill, you needn’t bother messaging, but here’s just a little taster of what this man is looking for…
Slim (no excuse ladies, at our age, we should be in our prime). I may budge if you’re really pretty and willing to let me whip you into shape by sharing my athletic lifestyle. Size 12+ is not for me, you may be average in the UK, but just because lots of women are overweight, doesn’t make it right. Too much greed & indulgence in this country.
WOW. Women are insecure enough as it is with the media shoving Victoria’s Secret models in our face 247, so even if a beautiful size 8 woman was reading this madness, she’d probably realise that if she were to get into a relationship with you, you’d be constantly judging her appearance and lifestyle habits. What a catch.
Without child, unless your partner has died, or at least well and truly out of the picture (I know many a good man that’s been a gap filler, only for daddy to back on the scene)
At 29 years of old (in this day and age), it would be completely normal to meet a woman of the same age with a child. Your mates have clearly had bad experiences but you can’t tar everyone with the same brush. What if the woman was left by her partner to raise the child alone? Do you think she chose that lifestyle? No, and if she wanted a partner, it wouldn’t be a self-centred, misunderstanding misogynist like you pal, so you needn’t worry.
Able to hold a conversation about topics other than reality TV, soaps, clothes, make-up or other female apparel
Oh yes, because all women have no brains. I’d forgotten about that. It strikes me as odd – Steve* – that you’d make a statement like this because you’re OBVIOUSLY an incredibly intelligent man yet your ignorance regarding the past-times of your opposing gender are nothing but erroneous. Tit.
No tattoos, or if you do, they must not be visible (on your face, arms or legs). In fact, all tattood women can do one, disgusting!
Don’t worry mate, they don’t want you either, trust me on that.
I guess I’m going to be single for a long time ha!
Sadly this is no joke, this guy is totally serious, although when asked, Steve* did say ‘it probably is a bit extreme but it’s all light-hearted‘. If that’s light-hearted, then I dread to think what the opposite is. I mean, I know we all reach a certain point in our lives when we’re certain about what we want but if you ask me, this bloke takes the right royal piss.
Online dating isn’t a new concept anymore, in fact we’ve reached a point where people are now looking for alternative to meet people within real-life scenarios, such as speed dating. So with this in mind, we can all empathise with the fact that Steve* may be wary of catfish and the likes but his attitude towards finding his supposed future wife is pretty sickening, don’t you agree?
He definitely could’ve reworded his profile and come across as the nice guy that a lot of girls look for but alas, he has shown himself to be the man that all women want to avoid at all costs, and I can only assume that he’ll be alone for a very long time unless he gets his act together. Poor naive Steve*, have you learned nothing about life in your 29 years on the planet? Clearly not much. However, regardless of this, I wish Steve* all the best with his dating endeavours and to the woman he ends up with, I have no words.
So ladies, want to date Steve*?
PS. I changed the guy’s name after a visible tussle with my conscience but Metro didn’t hold back, you can find out more about him here