When it comes to an online dating profile, we all think we know best. Why? Because it’s all about us. We either say exactly what’s on our minds (or what we think people want to read), sit back and wait for the magic to happen. However, as more dating profiles pop up, you can see that there are definitely a few words and phrases that automatically make you cringe and swipe left. Believe it or not, it’s not just the duck-face selfies and topless pics that can put people off, it’s definitely the way you say things too…
“I’m looking for someone tall, black hair, green eyes, likes Disney, dogs, dancing and Dubrovnik”
Okay well that’s not exactly it but you get my drift right? If you’re far too specific in what you’re looking for in a potential partner, you might very well be deterring people who could be perfect for you but they decide not to get in touch because they don’t tick one of your boxes. Sure, it’s always good to meet someone who you might have a few similar interests with but be honest and realistic about your expectations.
Confidence is an attractive quality, there’s no doubt about that. When you’re planning to meet someone from an online dating site, you want to know that you’re in for a treat. Even if you are shy, describing yourself as shy might lead people to think that there’ll be a lack of communication on your first date, or no spark simply because you’re too far in your shell. If you are shy, that’s fine, just try to avoid showcasing it on your profile as it might give people the wrong idea about you, which is exactly what you DON’T want.
“I hate this, and that, and this, and that”
Listen, there’s more than enough negativity in the world without you adding to it, and let’s face it, it’s not an attractive quality in a person. You’ve got to think of your online dating profile as your personal advertisement. By listing the things you hate, you’re effectively giving a whole load of people a whole bunch of reasons not to even feign the slightest interest in you – you’re alienating prospective partners. Lighten up, have a laugh, what do you love? This’ll get people talking hook, line and sinker – trust me.
“I don’t like online dating”
Well forgive me but why are you here? There are hundreds of thousands of people actively using sites and apps in the hope of meeting their significant other. If you don’t like it, stop hogging all the room for a person who’s genuine and interested in using the service. If you’re just saying this because you don’t want to be judged for using an online dating site, HELLO! It’s 2017 and the stigma has totally disappeared. Move with the times.
“Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?”
Oh come on now. I’m totally okay with people using a cheesy chat-up line ONCE for comedic value to break the ice and nothing else but let’s be economical with the truth here, they don’t really work in person, they don’t really work over the phone so what makes you think they’d work online? Newsflash – they don’t. Also, having a line like this on your profile isn’t personal, it’s just cringeworthy and I’m sure you know that. Save your compliments (and cheese if necessary) for private conversations, not public profiles.
“I’m looking for something very serious”
As much as this might be the case (which is totally fine), try to avoid stating this in black and white on your profile. As with a lot of other things, this conversation with a date will come in time, but for now, you want to get into conversation with people who could potentially be “the one” and by putting so much pressure on your next relationship, you run the risk of scaring them off with your overwhelming focus on commitment. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.
“I’m recently single”
It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been single for 2 minutes or 2 years, you’ll no doubt cross this conversational bridge after you’ve been on a few dates or exchanged multiple pleasantries. If you say that you’re recently single, it immediately gives people the impression that you’re on the rebound and no one – I repeat, no one – wants to fill those shoes. At the stage of someone scanning your profile with the intention to get in touch, all that they need to know is that you’re single and ready to date, then you can take it from there.
“I’m happy either way”
In fact, according to match.com, the most overused phrase in dating profile is ‘I’m equally happy going out with friends or staying in with a DVD and a bottle of wine’. As true as the case might be, we’re trying too hard to be people pleasers. We all have a stronger preference so don’t be afraid to show that. It’s hard enough to stand out online as it is without blending in ever more because of the way you string a sentence together. Give people a little more detail, have an opinion, be individual. That’s attractive.
“Can’t be bothered writing, if you want to know, just ask”
Wow, neggy Nora. The majority of the time, people are using online dating sites to form a real romantic connection with someone and would they really consider even messaging you if you can’t even be bothered to write a few lines about yourself? No, definitely not. As well as this, people don’t really like to open with a cliché “hey how are you?”, they want to start a conversation and if they’ve nothing to go on, you’re giving them no reason to interact with you and all they can assume is that you’re a pretty negative person. Not a good start.
If a timewaster wants to get in touch with you online, they’ll get in touch with you, there’s no stopping them. Stating that you don’t want to hear from ‘timewasters’ suggests that you’ve been burnt before and you’ve got a bit of a chip on your shoulder about it. Where online dating’s concerned, EVERYONE’S had a bad experience and that’s something you can chat (and even laugh about) a few dates down the line, but there’s no need to tell people before you’ve even started talking that you’re bitter about the past. It just puts people off
Don’t be bitter, don’t be super picky, don’t be closed-minded, don’t be lazy, just be you – wonderful you.